The Economy is So Bad That…
August 9, 2010 by confab
Filed under Confabulations
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
My ATM gave me an IOU!
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.
If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street “Wal-Mart Street”.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally…
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
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This post made me laugh so hard that …
I already re-tweeted this post because I know others will enjoy it too!
It really hit home with me. Some of them were so close to being accurate that it is scary. Thanks for passing it along. I like starting off Monday mornings with a smile.
Kim
What can I say? I am still laughing
. Good Stuff. I especially like the suicide hotline one. Thanks! Angela
I am soooo glad you are appreciating my attempts at starting the week off with a little humor. Pass it along and thanks for visiting.
I laughed so hard I cried and got my husbands curiosity up. He actually got off the couch to see what was making me laugh so incredibly hard. Then he laughed and said to send it to him. I had to borrow this and post it in my blog, giving full and due credit to you. Thanks for the comedy relief and for being you..
xoxoxox,
Ellen
I have to give full credit to my crazy uncle and Lord only knows where he found it. So please forward to everyone you know! Keep the laughter going.
XO,
Kim
Too funny – I love this post!! I love a sense of humor. I love to laugh. You’re awesome.
I am so glad people are finding this post. Please feel free to pass it along. We all need some good humor these days.
I’m going to pass this on, via my blog. I love it! Thanks, and I will credit you, of course!
Feel Free. I hope your readers LOVE IT!!!! Thanks for stopping by.
HYSTERICAL!!! I neve thought I’d laugh at a suicide hotline joke. Kudos!
I think I peed my pants laughing so hard! Thanks for the laugh!
Thanks for the laugh, although, it’s pretty darn scary out there, isn’t it. I shared on my FB and Twitter. Hope you check out my blogs!