My Top 9 Excuses for Not Being around Much Lately (Part 1)
If you follow my blog with any regularity, you may have noticed I haven’t been posting much over the last 4 months (okay, 6). I thought I owed you an explanation and it basically comes down to a list of excuses.
Excuse #9: Nature called (as in Breckenridge) and I really needed to focus my energy on our Christmas picture with it being June and all. So, we made a pilgrimage to Colorado but instead of driving we flew because our dog died which was really, REALLY sad.
I know this seems unrelated, but it is related because we used to only drive on family trips so we could take the dog with us. Now, with him being gone, we can fly.
Flying again made me add another rule to my list of “Rules my Husband Must Follow if he Wants Any” because before our trip he packed 14 crates of “gear” (i.e. crap) and then took off for a business trip and said “I’ll meet you there babe, but make sure you bring my 14 crates of gear” which left me to single-handedly navigate the gear through the airport and we missed our plane and had to drive by a demonic mustang with glowing eyes and I was traumatized. I may not recover.
But, the trip was fun even though I was really mad and so I had to add Rule #77 to my list that says, “Gear (i.e. crap) is not allowed on trips unless husband is physically present to manage said gear.” But, in spite of my rule and missing the flight we got our family Christmas picture and I had to smile through clenched teeth and pretend I was happy even though I was mad. But, how can you stay mad when you are at the top of a mountain with this view?
Excuse #8: My son’s “Ollie thingies” needed me.
Ollies are something you do if you are obsessed with skateboarding and my son is definitely obsessed with skateboarding, so he does them along with 360 kick flips, pop shove-its, three stairs, and the most epic of all skateboarding tricks, the Nollie 720 laser double heel flip. Well he can’t do the 720 thing yet because he is still a “newb” which means his hasn’t turned pro and is still practicing a lot and hoping for sponsorship.
Being truthful, what he really needed was my car to take him to summer camp at Van’s and the newly improved and expanded Etnie’s Skate Park so he could practice dropping-in and ollying-out which is partially responsible for excuse number three on my list of excuses.
But, if you have a kid who is obsessed with something you know how much fun it is to watch them get better and better so I supported his ollies by driving him to skate parks and the hubby supported his drop ins by helping him build this epic skateboard ramp in our driveway.
So, now the neighbors are all mad at us because of the “eyesore” in our driveway, but our kid is happy and practicing constantly. Really, what else matters? It’s epic.
Excuse #7: My kids are going to college in five or six years the cost of an education is rising exponentially faster than the interest rate on our college fund, so college will cost a gazillion dollars by the time they go. Pardon me, but I was working on “plan B” which is homeschool until they are 36 since there will be no jobs for them anyway and they will have to become entrepreneurs who start bazillion dollar businesses out of our garage.
I take my kids’ education seriously, and when I realized that college is overpriced and on the verge of obsolescense according to some really famous people like Bill Gates and Bill Gross and me, I started planning.
Thanks to a plethora of free online educational materials from Salman Khan who I discovered 3 years ago before he got discovered by Bill Gates, became famous and was featured on the news, and free online high school and college courses from places like Free World U, Open Culture, Academic Earth and MIT (that’s the school, not the Romney), I now have my kids’ curriculum planned out until they are 36, which should keep them really busy and out of trouble. Who needs Harvard when you have the University of Mom and a bunch of free resources? So now my kids are set and I can sleep and night and get back to my blog.
So, there you have it. I know you are looking for the rest of my excuses, but my new goal is to make my posts shorter than they have been in the past. Therefore, this is the end of part one. Make sure to check out the free online education resources I mentioned. “Take home value” is my motto.
You’ll thank me later, like when your kids are ready to go to college and you realized you can’t afford the gazillion dollar tuition fees.
To be continued….