3 Simple Steps to Create Lasting Change.

A few days ago, I declared my intentions to get in-shape although very few people seemed to care (woe is me). Maybe all my readers are already healthy, full of vitality and energy, at their ideal weight and looking hot.  Or, perhaps my “pre-holiday” timing is just all wrong and I underestimated folk’s willingness give up the stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie.  Regardless, I remain undeterred.  I am committed to my goal and am offering a second request to come join me in getting healthy down to the cellular level, or to pursue some major change in your life.

Day one of my journey was a breeze.  I was still euphoric about making the decision and began working towards my goal.  Day 2-4 were not so easy. Every which way I turned, there was an obstacle (namely in the form of Halloween cookies and candy).  I became distracted and lost all self-control.   It was a full on rebellion against my better intentions.  I called a time out and started working on a framework for success!   

It turns out, I was a little too confident about my abilities to just wing it.  I realized that when facing massive change, we need to set ourselves up for success, instead of stacking the deck towards failure. 

I took a step back to reevaluate and tapped into everything I have learned about change management from my days as a management consultant and from my training to be a life coach.  As a result, I have compiled a series of tools that I can use to make sure that I not only reach my goals but create lasting change. 

You can use this information if you wish.  And feel free to share it with your friends.  All I ask is that you please credit my website, www.confabulicious.com.  This article provides an overview, and I will release more detailed materials throughout my journey.  This process can be used to guide you through any kind of change.   

Change is difficult, and you will need to invest time and energy to produce results.  So if you want to play along, start by reading this, and then check back with me frequently for free tips and resources. 

Here’s how you can “jump start” the process of reaching a goal: 

Photo Credit: A Vision by Fatallook

1] GET CLARITY:  Clarity facilitates personal growth.  When your goals are crystal clear and imprinted into your subconscious mind, the universe will support you by opening doors and providing opportunities.  While this may sound a bit like new age hocus pocus, it is really simple to explain.  Clarity brings focus into your life and what you focus on, you will create.  Knowing what you want makes it really easy to bypass what you don’t want.  And since our brains are giants filtering mechanisms, forging clear pathway creates a state of flow, where things happen organically, authentically and naturally. 

When our lives are operating in a state of flow, we make enormous strides and accomplish unbelievable things against overwhelming odds.   Think about the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae who, in a famous last stand, deterred hundreds of thousands of Persian warriors to save ancient Greece.   This would not have been possible without clarity.

Photo Credit. Fear by Buzillo

There is a dark side to this story.  Sometimes people get their clarity through irrational fears.  Fear is one of the most powerful human emotions.  It releases influxes of hormones and triggers strong stress responses.  It can quickly overtake your physical and mental state creating a destructive force.  If your sense of fear is stronger than your desire to achieve a goal, guess what will happen?  Fears will become self-fulfilling prophecies.  

The process of getting clarity involves understanding what we want and facing our biggest fears.  When we get stuck in life, the root cause is most likely a combination of lack of clarity and irrational fear. 

Photo Credit: Push the sky by Rojasova

2] BUILD AWARENESS:  Awareness comes when you have internalized and embraced your goals and you have shared them with others.  The process of declaring your intentions publicly intensifies your commitment and gets others invested in your success.  There will be a few naysayers who are “threatened” by your initiative, enthusiasm and commitment.  Remember that their negativity comes from their own insecurities.  They don’t want to be left behind in the Loser’s Club.  Ignore them.  Move on.

Tips for building awareness…   

Commit your goals to writing:  The most successful people on the planet will admit to using this tactic.   Choose simple and empowering language.  The fewer words the better, but be very specific.

Post them everywhere:   Post your goals on the bathroom mirror, leave them on your night stand, hang them in your office right above your computer monitor, write them on index cards and keep them with you at all times.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Make your goals the squeaky wheel.

Make a mantra:  A mantra is a motivating phrase that you repeat over and over to reprogram your subconscious mind.  Spiritual advisors call them incantations.  Religious advisors call them prayers.  Whatever you want to call them, it involves talking to yourself.  Repeating your mantra over and over, out loud and with conviction, will boost your confidence.  It’s like the old trick of putting a smile on your face when you feel mad.  The feeling will follow the action.  In the same way, the belief will follow the declaration. 

Craft an elevator Pitch:  In one minute or less, with unwavering commitment, you must be able to tell anyone who will listen, what you are doing and why you are doing it.  Memorize your elevator pitch and use it often.

Tell at least 10 people:  By sharing your intentions with others, you are completing the process of anchoring your goals into your subconscious.  Human nature is such that when our internal desires are aligned with our spoken words, we maximize our ability to achieve great things.           

Photo Credit: The canyon by Jawniie

3] IDENTIFY AND CLOSE THE GAP: 

Most likely, there is a big gap between where you are today and where you want to be.  That’s okay.  This whole process is about closing it, eliminating it…vaporizing it.   But it is going to take more than determination to do it.  You’ll also need a plan of action and a process for measuring your progress.

There’s an old saying… “What gets measured gets done.”   If you want to make permanent change, you must determine what it will take to be successful, and put systems in place to track and measure your progress.   By doing this for an extended period of time (30 days or more) you will replace your nasty old habits with new empowering behaviors.

In step 1, you aligned your internal and external intensions.  Now, it’s time for alignment on a quantitative level.   This doesn’t have to be complex.  In fact, the simpler you make your process; the more likely you will be to follow through.

Tips for closing the gap:

Confront Reality:  How big is the gap between where you are and where you want to be?  Maybe you have let your standards drop and things have spiraled out of control.  It’s brutal to face this reality and easy to take the path of least resistance–denial.  If permanent change is your objective, you CANNOT lie to yourself.  The bottom line is, unless you face this pain head on, you will not reach your goals.  So adopt the Nike mantra and “Just Do It!”

Find leverage in the pain:   We will only achieve lasting change when the pain of what we are experiencing exceeds the pleasure we are getting from the damaging behavior.   Think about that statement carefully.   If you continually overeat, and dieting has failed time and time again, then you are still experiencing more pleasure from overeating than pain from being fat.  Until you shift the pain pleasure balance, you will remain overweight. 

If you are stuck in this pattern, do anything you can to tip the scales towards pain.  You can create leverage against yourself by entering into a meditative state and envisioning how you will look and feel, 1, 5, 10, 20 and 30 years from now if you continue with your current destructive patterns.  Feel the pain, isolation, loneliness and suffering.  Think of the people you are hurting and the opportunities you will miss.  Use your imagination to make it as painful as possible.

Create a POA (Plan of Action):   As soon as you start working towards your goal, obstacles will appear.  The best defensive strategy is to create a massive list of things you can do to achieve your goal.  Trust me…you will not need to do everything on your list.  The idea is to have a Plan A, B, C, D right at your fingertips so that when you do hit a road block, you’ll have an alternative route. 

Establish milestones and rewards:  You might have a long road in front of you.  Make it fun by establishing a few milestones along the way.  Acknowledge your progress and reward yourself with something you really want each time you reach one.

Photo Credit: We Can Stop Time by Calvin 911

Track your progress regularly:  Determine the best tracking increment.  Is it hour by hour, day by day, or week by week? The increment is not as important as the process of tracking in regular intervals.  You might need a few tracking tools.  I am producing worksheets to use and I will share them.  But it can be as simple as a daily diary and as sophisticated as an online goal tracking software. 

 If this article left you inspired, then take action now.  Never leave the site of planning a goal without taking a step towards that goal.   Before you close window and go back to what you were doing, give yourself the gift of 5 minutes to brainstorm what you are going to do.  Leave your thoughts in the comment box below and let’s build a support system for each other.  Send the link to a friend and try to enlist a buddy.  There is power in numbers, but you will need to find the courage and inner strength to stand on your own.

What permanent change would you like to make in your life?

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